Love from Jessica: "5 quick tools to regulate your nervous systems as a HSP, entrepreneur or not :)"
Today we are receiving some beautiful words from our guest Jessica, Holistic coach, copywriter and VA for sensitive and ambitious entrepreneurs.
If you sometimes feel like your day slips out of your control and that the daily demands of your life and business leave you stressed, overwhelmed and even physically drained, you’re far from being alone. In fact, these could be signs that you’re a highly sensitive person and/or an empath.
Highly sensitive people and empaths process emotions and external stimuli more deeply than others, which means that what feels like a minor stressor to some can feel overwhelming to us
It took me a while to recognise that this was my case.
Even if I’d always known that I was in some ways different from most people around me, that I felt their emotions as if they were mine, that I was more prone to moments of despair. It’s only at the end of my 30s that I looked into it and understood how being highly sensitive actually shaped my emotional landscape. How my reactions to the daily stressors of life - even more so since I’ve been self-employed - are directly connected to the well-being of my nervous system.
And that’s the thing: when you're highly sensitive, your nervous system is wired to react more intensely to stress. Little things become bigger for us. Like for instance when we have to discuss pricing with a client. Or when our to-do list gets longer than the hours in the day. Or even simply being surrounded by too much energy, too many people, too much noise. It can quickly become overwhelming and push us into fight-or-flight mode, or as I like to call it “godzilla mode”.
I don’t know about you, but when that happens to me, it’s best to stay out of my way. My body tenses, my voice gets sharp, and I no longer feel like the grounded, calm person I strive to be. Instead, I feel scattered, paralyzed, disconnected from myself. If I don’t catch it in time, it is my body who pays the price with migraines, joint pain, and general exhaustion.
Good news though: it doesn’t have to stay this way. Because once you understand your nervous system and how to care for it, you can stop the spiral before it takes over. In fact, the sooner you’re able to accept and love your high sensitivity, the sooner you’ll be able to notice when you get dysregulated and help your body find its calm, balanced state again.
Here are five quick, simple, and effective tools that can help you regulate your nervous system, stay centered, and show up in your business with clarity and confidence.
The state of survival (or why your brain thinks an unread email is a hungry tiger)
Here’s the thing about being highly sensitive: your nervous system wasn’t exactly designed for modern entrepreneurship. It was wired in a way to keep you safe in a time when actual life-threatening dangers roamed the Earth. I’m talking about saber-toothed tigers, famine, and unexpected visits from the village chief. Today, those stressors have been replaced by client negotiations, endless opportunities for comparison, and that one invoice that still hasn’t been paid.
Not quite the same.
But your body hasn’t caught up. It still thinks survival is on the line. Let’s take a look at what happens behind the surface.
Your built-in alarm system: the sympathetic nervous system (a.k.a. fight-or-flight mode)
Your sympathetic nervous system is an overprotective bodyguard. The moment it senses a potential threat (like, say a passive-aggressive sounding comment on your work) and it leaps into action:
Your heart races, sending you the signal that it’s time to flee.
Your breathing gets shallow so you can keep oxygen in case of a battle.
Blood rushes to your muscles, so you can run, punch, fight… or you know… stare at your screen keeping busy instead of actually getting to work.
Your digestive system shuts down to save energy (which explains why so many of us get stomach aches every so often).
The Parasympathetic Nervous System: Your built-in chill mode
On the flip side, your parasympathetic nervous system is your inner yoga instructor, responsible for calming things down after a stress spike.
It lowers your heart rate and blood pressure so you don’t go into overdrive every time someone reschedules a call.
It deepens your breathing so you can get fresh oxygen and let go of the panic you were in.
It resumes digestion because yes, you do deserve lunch even when you’ve got so much to do.
The problem is that most of us get stuck in survival mode and we never fully switch back to “rest and digest”. Meaning that the parasympathetic nervous system doesn’t get activated.
That’s why you need a mediator.
The Vagus Nerve: your secret weapon for calm
If the sympathetic nervous system is your body's over-reactive alarm, and the parasympathetic is your zen master, then the vagus nerve is the diplomat between the two.
Running from your brainstem down to your gut, it’s the longest nerve in your body and it’s responsible for oh-so-much! Mainly, it tells your body it’s ok to stop panicking, it regulates your digestion so you don’t feel like your stomach is in knots all day and it slows down your heart rate. Because no, a contract falling through doesn’t mean that the world is ending.
The best part is that you can actually activate your vagus nerve with simple techniques like deep breathing, humming, cold exposure, or even gently massaging your neck. Yes, science says you can literally rub the stress out of your body.
5 simple ways to regulate your nervous system (without moving to a remote monastery)
Now that you know why your nervous system is convinced that hosting webinars is life-threatening, let’s talk about what you can actually do about it. The goal isn’t to never feel stress, because, let’s be real, that’s impossible. Instead, it’s about giving your body simple ways to recover faster so that stress doesn’t hijack your entire day.
Here are my five favourite, practical, science-backed ways to regulate your nervous system and strengthen your vagus nerve so you can go from frazzled to focused, without abandoning your business and moving off the grid.
1. Breathe like you actually want to be alive
We breathe all day, but when we’re stressed, our breath becomes shallow and rapid, basically telling our body to "Panic, now!" Luckily, deep, intentional breathing does the opposite: it signals the vagus nerve to activate your chill mode.
Try the 4-7-8 breath : inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8. The important part is to let the exhale be longer than the inhale, so that you’ll intentionally slow your heart rate down. Deep breathing stimulates the vagus nerve and sends a message to your body that you’re in fact, not in immediate danger, shifting it back into parasympathetic mode. And it also works wonders when you’re in bed and your brain refuses to shut up.
2. Hum, sing, or gargle (yes, seriously!)
Your vagus nerve runs through your vocal cords, so using your voice can actually help regulate your nervous system!
Hum your favorite song for a few minutes, chant “Om” like a yoga teacher who’s got it all together, or gargle water vigorously for 30 seconds. I personally prefer humming when I’m trying to regain control of my system, but I love to use singing as a preventive tool, as it puts me immediately in my zone of power and confidence. If my neighbours read this, they’ll finally know why they sometimes hear me sing Let it gooo, let it goo, can’t hold it back anymore… It works because even when you’re frozen, if you get your vocal cords to vibrate, they automatically stimulate the vagus nerve, bringing your body back into a state of calm.
3. Get moving, intuitively
When your body thinks you’re in danger, movement helps discharge stress hormones. But this doesn’t mean you need to run a marathon. Instead, slow movement is actually better for nervous system regulation.
My 3 favorite body practices include deep stretching, weight lifting and intuitive dancing.
Deep stretching
Slow, passive stretching tells your brain there is no immediate danger … because if you were actually being chased by a tiger, you wouldn’t be holding a pigeon pose for 10 minutes! And it’s not just for yogis and dancers: deep stretching is available to everyone. It’s a powerful way to signal safety to your nervous system and release excess tensions and the emotional stress that you store in your muscles and joints. In fact, it’s not that uncommon to cry during a session of deep stretching, which reminds us of how much goes through our bodies during the day.
Weight lifting
Next time stress has you in fight-or-flight mode, consider deadlifts. Weight lifting is a great way to activate the vagus nerve and regulate the nervous system, but it also decreases inflammation markers in the body, which in turn enhances vagal tone. To be clear, the more you work out, the better you are able to calm stress responses in the future. Not to mention the feel-good hormones that get released, for an ever more instant-calming effect.
Intuitive Dancing
If weight lifting is structured and deep stretching is restorative, intuitive movement is your body's way of saying, "Let me do what I need." It’s about moving in a way that feels good in the moment, without rules, reps, or rigid expectations. Without even a choreography. Simply put the music on and let your body do the rest, trusting that it knows what it needs. We’re not looking at results here, we’re not trying to strike a pose. We’re letting our bodies move, freeing them of the shackles we impose on them all day. It’s an incredible way to regulate your nervous system, strengthen the vagus nerve, and release pent-up stress. And the best part? It strengthens the body-mind connection, making you over time even more attuned to your physical needs as well as your excess energy and tension, so that you can listen and tend to your needs much faster in the future.
4. Cold Exposure
I promise I won’t tell you to take a cold shower, but the truth is your nervous system does love a good jolt of cold. If you’re like me and you’d rather stay away from the ice bucket challenge, you can easily expose yourself to cold water for brief moments of time, like for instance by splashing water on your face, running cold water over your wrists, or putting a pack of ice cubes on your neck (a incredibly effective way to stop headaches). It works because again, it activates the vagus nerve and instantly brings you into a calmer state.
5. Touch yourself (not like that, but kind of)
Finally, physical touch is one of the fastest ways to calm your nervous system. Place a hand on your heart, give yourself a warm hug or press on acupressure points on your neck and you immediately send signals of safety to your brain. Or, if you have a pet, spend a few minutes cuddling them: it literally lowers cortisol levels. The first time I intentionally gave myself a big tight hug in a moment of panic, I immediately cried, in a way that I hadn’t cried in a long time. I truly felt safe for the first time within my own body, by myself. It doesn’t mean that we can’t receive physical touch from other humans - on the contrary, co-regulation is another amazing technique - but it’s good to know that you don’t depend on anyone to instantly feel better and bring yourself from a state of panic to a state of inner safety.
Your nervous system is not your enemy
If you’re a highly sensitive person, you may feel like your nervous system is a ticking time bomb some days. But as you’ve read in this article, with a little daily care, you can train your body to recover faster from stress so that your life and business don’t feel like endless roller coasters.
Today I shared with you 5 of my favorite tools to regulate my nervous system. As always, you’re the expert. This means that you’ll have to try for yourself and find out what works best for you.
If there’s one thing I want you to remember however, it’s this: regulating your nervous system isn’t about toughening up. It’s about learning to work with your sensitivity so it becomes your superpower, not your struggle.
So, which of these will you try first? Hit reply and let me know. I’d love to hear what works for you!
Jessica Tefenkgi Ruelle
Holistic Coach + Copywriter / VA for Sensitive & Ambitious Women - Mid-wife to your potential. I help you connect to your story, overcome your inner blocks & create success with sustainable, soulful actions. Website - Substack - Community
From the same author:
Sources:
Parasympathetic Nervous System (PSNS): Role in Body Processes
Vagus Nerve as Modulator of the Brain–Gut Axis in Psychiatric and Inflammatory Disorders
Thank you Jessica for such an informative & wittly written, in-depth article on Nervous System regulation. These techniques changed my experience of Life as a highly sensitive. If you can pick just 1 or 2 of them I guarantee they’ll change yours too!
article photo credits: Maria Lupan via Unsplash